What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Yes sir it is.

How should I go about convincing my mother that my foreign online boyfriend isn't out to get my holes or scam me?

After a few moments he returns.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

How can I get over a break up?

{RING} {RING}

HELLO

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Why do men like to have sex with a woman's ass?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Do you even realise that NASA could've hid or bury every single piece of evidence for a flat-earth and exaggerate their evidence? Have you ever question materialist scientific narratives?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Sure no problem officer.

Have you ever witnessed political correctness harm someone?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.